j'ai fais deux filles a la fois (not really)

For those whom know me, they've been listening to my continued attempts to upgrade my employment.

Thankfully, I've learned a lot from the process, and I think I know more human resourse people than you do now.

Knowledge I feel obligated to pass along as follows:

To answer the question "Why _____ for a job?"

Wrong:  I was so glad to see your now hiring I cried for 10 minutes. My boss is unqualified, comes in late, cracks farts, and smells like an old sock. (While this may be true, not smart to say)

Right:  Actually, I wasn't looking for a job, but when I saw it was YOU....  (Hopefully true statement)

The improper way to pester someone for a job:

I was wondering if the position was filled already. (Encouraging knee-jerk y/n questions is never good)

The proper way to pester someone about the job:

Could you give me a rough estimate/timeframe when I should follow up regarding a hiring decision? (Oh snap, this makes one think, don't it?)